It’s not about you

As a musician, I’m trying to imagine what would happen if I invited a bunch of folks to my house to play music, and then kept all my ideas and songs to myself. People would stop coming over. And they’d tell other people to stop, too.

As a musician, I want to provide a meaningful experience for the people I play with, plus, provide them with access to musicians or resources that would enhance their networks, too.

Same goes for building community online. I’m more drawn to sites that capture my imagination, not my “lead capture” information.

So this little paragraph on Tara Hunt’s blog Horse, Pig, Cow is top of mind this week as I tinker around with ways to build community online for my clients and my music:

“The key to attracting and keeping members of a community is to offer them heaps of ways to accrue Social Capital within it. That is, to offer them more connections, more influence, more of a chance to grow their reputation, more bridging capital, more bonding capital, more access and potential access to ideas, talent and resources, more ways to display their accomplishments, more ways to do nice things for others (to build up those favors) and more access to those with loads of Social Capital of their own.”

Putting research into practice

As we build Tonya’s blog for her Pilates studio, I want to keep the social networks of Tonya’s clients in mind, too. Because, according to Tara, it works best when your nurturing your community, and the communities of your clients, too. I love that.

A few ideas to incorporate into Tonya’s blog:

  • A recipe for success. Tonya is a nutritionist, too, and she’s often giving clients recipes for her breakfast smoothies. Incorporate recipes, tips, and daily snack suggestions into blog posts. The trick is to write these tips in such a way that it feels urgent, and practical enough for someone to share with a friend.
  • A MAT class like no other. Tonya is trained in a muscle recovery method called Muscle Activiation Technique. She’s one of only two certified MAT therapists in North Carolina. We’ll use her blog to provide more information about this fast-growing, muscle building and rebuilding method. Then, provide ways to make the information accessible to friends. For instance, a friend just tore an achille’s tendon, how would I know if MAT is good for him?

3 responses to “It’s not about you”

  1. The Prospect’s Protest (A Problem)

    I. I am not a target; I am a person: Don’t market to me, communicate with me.

    II. Don’t wear out my name, and don’t call me “friend,” until we know each other.

    III. When you say “sell,” I hear “hype.” Clarity trumps persuasion. Don’t sell; say.

    IV. I don’t buy from companies; I buy from people. And here’s a clue: I dislike companies for the same reason I dislike people. Stop bragging. It’s disgusting.

    V. And why is your marketing “voice” different from your real “voice”? The people I trust don’t patronize me.

    VI. In all cases, where the quality of the information is debatable, I will always resort to the quality of the source. My trust is not for sale. You need to earn it.

    VII. Dazzle me gradually: Tell me what you can’t do, and I might believe you when you tell me what you can do.

    VIII. In case you still don’t “get it,” I don’t trust you. Your copy is arrogant, your motives seem selfish, and your claims sound inflated. If you want to change how I buy, first change how you market.

  2. How very community-minded of you, Mrs. Brown.

  3. Dear Friend,
    A group of researchers at University of Nevada, Las Vegas, are investigating effects of Weblogs on “Social Capital”. Therefore, they have designed an online survey. By participating in this survey you will help researches in “Management Information Systems” and “Sociology”. You must be at least 18 years old to participate in this survey. It will take 5 to 12 minutes of your time.
    Your participation is greatly appreciated. You will find the survey at the following link.
    This group has already done another study on Weblogs effects on “Social Interactions” and “Trust”. To obtain a copy of the previous study brief report of findings you can email Reza Vaezi at

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